Look No Further

You are perfection right now. Exactly what you have done, are doing, and will be doing is perfection. Let me be less general, more specific. Are you pleased today? Your answer is exactly what is necessary for you right now. Are you over-working yourself? Tiring yourself out? This couldn’t be better.

You may feel or say, “But, ‘here’ sucks. Where I am right now, is not pleasant.” Strangely, this thought process… is perfect. It all becomes perfect when our concept of “perfection” changes from what is ultimately unattainable to “attainable,” to “this” or “now.” Unattainable is, “I am sick today, but I need to/ should be able to do this…” or “I wish I could…” or “I’m scared that if I don’t…” Whatever that specific phrase is that we use to keep us from accepting this moment, right now, is what is called, “unattainable.” What is attainable is this: your experience right now. Struggle, confusion, joy, bliss, peace, shame. And whatever your experience will be 5 minutes from now, that is attainable.

It is perfect because that is exactly where we have found ourselves. We walk into these moments unconscious of our patterns and habits, like a sleepwalker who awakes to find that they are standing in the middle of the street, a car blaring its horn at them. Your writhing pain and suffering is you, alive and awake. Your bliss and pleasure is you, alive and awake. The belief that you have control of what happens and when/how it will happen is you, walking while you sleep. You can only experience life is you live it, and in that you are merely reacting to your circumstances. And, you will never be able to fully control them. Don’t believe me? Try this: stop thinking for 10 seconds. Take a moment and put every ounce of your being into this act.

You just reacted to your experience.

Whether you really tried to stop thinking for ten seconds (and realized this to be impossible), or whether you disagreed with it and shrugged it off, you just reacted. You didn’t have control of your experience. Your experience was living you more than you were living your experience.

Even before you opened this message you were faced with a choice. You chose to read this note, but only because you reacted to seeing it. Before that was another reaction, preceded by another and another. (Almost like a chemical reaction that goes and goes and goes, essentially never stopping because even when a chemical combination has reached its perceived “ended,” it is still changing form in some way.) So, here we are in life, reacting to reactions of reactions, right?

Well, These all occurred initially as thoughts — some sort of thought arose out of our experience. “I’m idle. I’ll go to Facebook. I’ll click on so and so’s page. I see a picture of someone else. I click on their page.” Yet, here is the empowerment we hold. We have a choice of what we react to, right? Sometimes, it doesn’t feel like it, but we almost always have a choice of how to react to our experience, but we don’t have a choice of what the result will be after we react. We can guess and project that it will probably be a certain way, like, “I am feel hunger. If I go to the store I can get yogurt and return home.” And, upon arriving at the store, you see friends, you talk to them, you forget about yogurt, but you leave with toilet paper. How often does this happen?

Okay, “thank you, Captain Obvious,” right? “Thank you for telling me of a mundane example, Martin.” But, the Truth lies in this example: you are not in control, everything is perfect, and at least you have toilet paper.

See, there is nowhere we need to go in order to attain that which we want most in this life: peace and love. I can already hear some of you thinking, “Oh, God…peace and love? Really?” But stick with me. Come on, it’s me, Marty.

Don’t answer this rhetorical question for me, “Why do you do what you do?” Let me try to phrase it to be more specific, “why do you need that perfect career? why do you need to change where you are right now? why do you need to find the One?” The answer driving it, when you find its deepest root is this, “I do it because I want peace.” And, perhaps, “I want love — acceptance.”

We don’t want stuff. We don’t want careers. All the things that we experience in life is an attempt to attain peace, and inner love. We eat ice cream because it makes us happy, and in happiness we are searching for peace. We put ourselves through 20 years of a miserable job to make a lot of money because we are trying to attain some sort of peace of mind. Perhaps we don’t want financial stress in our life. We do what we do because we want peace, and love. Do you not agree?

We are restless beings. Tirelessly searching for peace. Even, “the worst of the worst,” are searching for peace. Adolf Hitler. Can you not argue he was searching for peace within himself through his actions? That in some twisted and dark way, he believed peace could be obtained through the eradication of millions of “impure” people. To him, it was then, and only then, that peace would be felt within the world. But more important, it would be when peace would be felt within himself. This, to him, was nirvana. He committed suicide, using it as an escape from the war that he was caught in — not WWII — the one within. And, can we not relate to this feeling? Maybe not to the degree of turmoil he felt, but to the feeling of searching for the unattainable?

(Now leaving the city limits of Tangent. Population: Martin. Elevation: wtf?)

We are tirelessly searching for peace.
We don’t have to do anything or achieve anything in order to reach peace.
We are perfect.

Tonight, I was awoken by sirens. I wondered whether it was a police chase or just an ambulance. I imagined what it would be like to get in my car and go “find” a police chase in progress, and perhaps I could intentionally crash into the fleeing “criminal’s” car, like I was in some sort of destruction derby. Then I went to the window as the sirens got closer. I heard an engine accelerate, tires spin on the rainy pavement, and saw a truck go by on the next street over. I became confused when I heard the sirens going in another direction, opposite of where I saw the truck go. I thought, is it possible that the truck is a person just like me who decided to go look for the chase in progress? Then I realized, “I can’t join in a police chase, I wouldn’t know who the ‘bad guy’ is. And I might end up chasing after someone who is also looking for the bad guy.” How embarrassing would that be? And what if everyone did that? It would be madness! We would have innocent people driving around chasing each other like maniacs because they think they had found the bad guy.

Madness, but we do this in our everyday life. We don’t need to join a police chase to be part of this madness. We idolize people: celebrities, friends, spiritual figures. We idolize concepts created during our lifetime that express to us what purity is, what love is, what peace is, what a man is, what a woman is. We live our lives according to these concepts that reside in our busy, well-intended minds. We are recklessly chasing after the good guys, thinking they are the bad guys. What if we just stop and watch? Can we find peace in knowing that peace is right here, somewhere within this experience we are living right now? No matter how it may feel.

There is no one to chase after. No one to help stop the madness. No one to stop from creating the turmoil. Just something to watch from our bedroom window as it passes by, bringing a smile to our face at the blissful insanity of life.


What We Are: The Merging of What We Were, and What We Will Be

Here is a concept that I have begun taking to some vast reaches of our existence: that we are both man and woman at the same time — we ARE a concept of our parents. We were conceived by them, therefore we are a concept of their communion. In a culture that is flooded with divorce, and an emotionally-charged belief system of what marriage is, it is easy for these “conceptions” to be lost adrift the waters of divorce. Regardless of what institutions define marriage to be, the truth is, people are left to make the rules up as we go along. Don’t believe me? If institutional definitions of marriage were laws like gravity, then contradictions to those definitions could never exist. Divorce would be non-existent. Extra-marital sodomy would be non-existent. Most institutions say marriage is a lifetime commitment; unabashed loyalty to your partner. But, because these are not scientific laws, we are left to break them — making up our own rules to suit our needs, regardless of what our conditioning tells us.

For this reason, lust-filled love can be an emotional time bomb where creation happens without a focus of intention. Passions can flair, leading to the conception of a child. What happens from this point on decides to the future of this child, society, and planet. The child has a conscience that expands beyond the facade of parental conditioning. A child can sense tension and disconnect between their creators without needing to be told so. The old adage, “actions speak louder than words,” rings loud and clear when you think of a child as a concept of their parents. A child told not to smoke at 16, will recall the times their parents smoked in the past, and will choose between listening to past actions, or present words. They may ultimately choose not to smoke, but the act of smoking has been imprinted in their psyche and, perhaps, DNA.

Think of a time in your life when you have thought of something to do — anything. Even something as simple as going to the grocery store will do. This act, on an energetic level (this level may not at the forefront of our conscious life, but instead, is the undercurrent of everything we do), requires the need to go shopping. You are all out of milk, so you need to get some more for dinner later. You get in the car, back out of the driveway, and the car dies. Here, two things happen at once. One, your conception of going to the store is put severely in jeopardy. Two, your concept of an operating vehicle has just died. Consequently, it has given birth to the need to call a tow truck or mechanic. In this mess, the grocery store has been aborted. Depending on your emotional attachment to these concepts and emotional resilience, you could either be greatly saddened by this event, or hardly shaken by. In fact, you may jump to exactly what you need to do next.

Now, because the grocery store isn’t an emotional being, it is very unlikely to have any kind of long-standing abandonment issues because your need to attend to other pressing needs that day. However, here comes the incredible delicacy and sheer wonder that is life. A child, who is a concept of their parents, energetically experiences the shifts of their creators. This, arguably, may be an energetic law that outlines a child’s existence.

It cannot be denied that the miracle of life is unexplainably astounding. At one point in time, you were two separate biological “things.” Scientifically speaking, you and I were once, a sperm and an egg. Or, more accurately, we were the result of a sperm and an egg. Here it is we find something that science may never be able to fully explain. A sperm, demonstrates a sort of energetic consciousness by finding its receptive mate, the egg, which also demonstrates consciousness through the act of picking a suitable mate by letting only one in. When this occurs the two merge into One… they merge into you. What happens to the sperm? What happens to the egg? Are the two considered dead? Or do they continue on now, operating as one unit, in unison?

What happens is the mergence of two separate things into One. This is the dance that humans play over and over, everyday. There is animate and inanimate merging (human riding a bike), energetic merging (healing, sports competition, sexual intercourse), cellular merging (blood transfusions, surgery, pregnancy), psychic merging (conversation, communication). This happens everywhere, all at once!

Everything that ever happens in any given moment is filled with these exchanges. How much intention and energy we give them, is shown in the result. If I am playing basketball, and have no desire to make a shot, I will not make it. If I have the intention to make a shot, but not the presence (I may be distracted by a group of people watching me on the sidelines), I am leaving my shots up to chance. However, if I am entirely present with my shooting, and I have the intention to make a shot, I am drastically increasing the odds of having a positive result. Certainly, I will be subjected to other laws at play, such as a gust of wind, but the point is the likelihood greatly increases when combining intention and awareness to complete a task at hand.

Returning to the idea that we are a concept of our parents; our children are the concept of us and our partner, you may begin to see how a child’s life is emotionally and energetically impacted. Whether we wish to accept it or not, the truth is, our actions are directly linked to intention and awareness. If we are having intimacy issues with our partner, our child is likely to observe the parental disconnect, and encode it. If the intimacy is feigned, I would argue that the child may even sense this, and encode it. How it will be used in their life will not be determined until they are faced with a circumstance that necessitates utilizing this information.

Furthermore, on an energetic level, if there is a separation between co-creators (parents), the concept of the creation (child) dies. The concept is then left to be defined in a distorted way. Perhaps physically, the concept may survive. However, emotionally it may die as a result of its co-creators not staying present with their emotional link — not combining intention and awareness until the completion of the task at hand: creating and raising a child. This idea may be difficult to grasp, it is quite a ways out there. And because there is nothing tangible to grab onto in the energetic world, nothing to link in from our experience except outside parallels, it is hard to accept as a reality — or, a potential reality.

But, before I get too carried away with theories and infinite possibilities, this is a good time to bring it back to why we are really here: to understand our existence right now, in this moment. You might be reading this because you are interested in knowing who you are, what you are here to do, and that your existence is filled with much more mystery than you could ever possibly know. We are here, peeling back the layers of conditioning that our society has embedded in us and our parents have embedded in us. We are doing this because we know our true Self is waiting beneath all of it.

Part of this understanding of Self is that we are simply, and complexly, a concept. We are the result of our father and our mother joining into one. What they experienced as fears, deficits, strengths, and distinctive qualities, are exactly what we will experience, only in different skin and moments unique to us. Healing ourselves is a process of understanding where we have come from and where we are headed. The merging of past with future reveals to us the present moment. In short, we experience both past and future at once: the past’s stamped and sealed encoding, and the future’s infinite opportunity for “concepts” to engage within. Merged together, they form One, leaving us with nothing other than, “now.”